Nights in White Satin
by Artesri
Summary: Mio's PoV. Ritsu & Mio are married but lately Mio feels as if Ritsu is only interested in work. When Ritsu comes home past midnight on their anniversary with marks of another woman on her, how will Mio handle it? And how does Ritsu feel about everything?
1. Chapter 1

Heard a song on an internet radio site and came up with this one-shot idea. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own K-ON! and its characters but the setting/story is mine.

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><p>"So…Are you going to let me out anytime soon?"<p>

"No."

"Mio. I'm serious. Let me out."

"No."

"Even if I bought you accessories for your bass?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"…"

I heard Ritsu sigh as she lightly banged on the door of the closet.

"Will you at least open the package I got you?"

I opened up a package that had been tossed onto the bed earlier and felt my anger rise. Today was our one year anniversary but the idiot in the closet seemed to have forgotten and went out drinking with some friends from work. Like a fool, I had waited all day with a meal that took me more than 2 days to prepare in secret. I even bought a bottle of her favorite wine. At some point, I had opened the bottle myself and had begun drinking it, calling or texting her ever couple minutes, trying to figure out where she was at. Just when I had imagine the worse happening to her and was about to call the police, Ritsu showed up at midnight. But my worrying was rewarded by having her slightly drunk with, to my shock, a few lipstick marks on her dress shirt. When I started demanding she tell me what she had been doing all night and with whom, she ignored me and went into our walk-in closet to change. While she was changing, I locked her inside so she wouldn't be able to evade my questions, unless she wanted to spend the night in there.

"Look Mio. I know I messed up but you know I couldn't really ignore an invite from the president. She's the reason why we can afford such a nice place to live in, not to mention so much more."

At the mention of her boss, I felt my face heat up more than before and downed another glass of wine as I stood up.

"You know Ritsu…" I started, surprised at the coldness in my voice. "All I wanted was for us to be together today. I never asked for money. And yes, though I like it, I never asked for a place this big overlooking the city. I never asked for you to be gone for hours or even days just to afford everything we have now."

I paused for a moment to see if she would reply. She didn't, so I continued.

"And I certainly didn't ask for your trampy boss to throw herself at you. How many times have I allowed you to stay out and go to your so called 'corporate dates' with her? Even when we had planned things in advance, you almost always ditched me for your work. When I married you, this isn't what I agreed to. This isn't what I wanted. "

I felt fiery tears swell up in my eyes and tried to rub them away but they just kept coming. I heard her give a frustrated growl as she hit the door hard, making me jump. I turned away from the door and looked out over the city, watching the lights dance as if laughing at me. And then in a controlled voice, I heard Ritsu speak.

"Then what is it that you want me to do Mio? Tell me! Whatever it is, I'll do it. I thought I was doing everything I could to make you happy. You know how bad I wanted this job and what I did to get there. All those sleepless nights I spent cramming information in my brain just so I could pass the test to get accepted where I'm at now. Yes, it was hard, but I survived because of you. You being there by my side and believing in me allowed me to pull through. Throughout it all and even now, I have only one goal in mind and that is to make you happy. And now you tell me that none of it matters to you. I'm not happy Mio if you aren't happy. So please… Mio…I love you…"

When I heard how her voice began to crack at her last few words toward me, I felt my anger falter. I thought over her words carefully, trying to figure out what I was going to say next. I glanced over to the bedside table and looked at the group picture of us and our former band mates in high school. Though it took me a while, even then the picture showed how much Ritsu loved me. It was her eyes that gave it away. Those golden eyes that could always will me to do things that I didn't want to do. Those eyes that lit up when I told her I loved her too. Those eyes that sparkled the day we walked down the aisle, with our friends and family, cheering all around us.

How long has it been since I last looked at her in the eyes and told her honestly that I loved her? I tried to recall yet I couldn't remember. But now that I thought about it, every time Ritsu left or came home, and other times as well, she always ended our conversations with 'I love you.' Sometimes I'd say the same thing back, out of habit, but how many of those times did I truly mean it? Nearly every time Ritsu said it to me I could sense the overwhelming feeling of love and desire she gave to those words. And though I was happy when she did that, I'd almost always respond negatively and hit her on the head or refuse to look at her. And she'd just laugh it off, give me a quick kiss, and leave.

"Mio…please…"

Ritsu's voice brought me out of my troubling thoughts.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I love you so much but sometimes it hurts because I can't tell if you love me anymore or just put up with me. If you don't want…"

During her pause I drank the remaining wine and felt the flush from before returning to my body.

"If I don't want what?" I whispered.

Ritsu took a strangled gasp of breathe and I realized that she was crying. I got up from the bed and slowly unlocked the closet door.

"If you don't want me anymore then maybe it's best we separate."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: A lot of angst in this chapter, but a large amount of people like that anyways. I know Mio and Ritsu are a bit out of character, but everyone acts different when they're with the ones they love. And thanks for the reviews! I read them every time I hit a slump and the most recent one is what gave me the inspiration to finally get something out. Thank you for your continued support. And thank you to my advisor/beta BunnyNuggetz. Check her Deviantart. It's posted on my homepage. Her work is fabulous. Years of practice goes a long way. I may even get her to draw a scene from this story. Depends if I get enough feedback. So please review and look forward to the next and final chapter (which contains the M-rated content). Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I don't own K-ON!**

"_If you don't want me anymore then maybe it's best we separate."_

I let go of the door as if it were on fire and I staggered backwards in shock, trying to register what she said. I watched as Ritsu slowly made her way out of the closet. She avoided my gaze as she walked toward the window. I tried to find my voice as I tentatively approached her.

"Ritsu…" my voice cracked. I could feel the tears starting to fill my eyes but I held them back. "You…you can't be serious…right? You didn't mean it, right?"

"And what if I did?" I winced at the tone of her voice. "These days, I can't tell if you really love me the way I do you. Because lately… "

I saw tears start to form around her eyes as she tried to gather her next choice of words. I could have said something, and I wanted to, but I didn't know what to say. So I stayed silent and just looked at the floor. I jumped when she slammed her fist against the wall, and nearly fainted when I saw a trickle of blood go down her hand as she looked at it before giving a frustrated sigh. She looked at me and her eyes softened a bit with worry before she hastily wrapped her hand with a nearby tissue.

"My Mio. Always paling when there's blood involved…" I heard her snicker softly. I opened my mouth to spew out a retort but the sudden stern look on her face told me to remain quiet. I heard her let out a hiss of breath before she started talking again.

"You know…I've always done my best Mio. Perhaps you don't see it that way, but I really have. I know I joke around a lot and but that's who I am. I act like I have no worries but I do. Just like you. And I know what you worry about Mio. And I've tried my best to ease them, to help out both of us. But my heart is sick and tired of it, Mio. I'm tired of playing guessing games with you. We can't go on like this. You tell me that everything is okay, but I know it's not. I don't want to keep acting like we're friends _pretending _we're married. If that's all I wanted, I would have never told you how I truly felt and I wouldn't be here now, talking to you like this. But I did Mio. And you accepted me. You're the only one who loves me as I am. You always have."

The whole time she talked to me, Ritsu had made no attempt to move towards me. Suddenly she grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall and held my arms so I could not run away. Even though it hurt, I didn't let a sound come from me and instead stared at her angrily. I attempted to speak but the disturbing look on her face as she dug her fingers deeper into my arms frightened me more so than the blood that I noticed was starting to seep through her handkerchief. And it pained me to realize that for the first time in my life, I was afraid of Ritsu. And I knew it was my fault that she was acting this way.

"No. Maybe I should say 'loved? Because everything tells me that right now you don't love me anymore. Or rather, you never loved me the way I did you."

I thought I could hear both our hearts beating as she paused and slowly released her hold on me. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and slid to the floor as I wrapped my arms around myself and silently cried, not fully comprehending what just happened. Ritsu turned away from me and went back to the window.

"Tell me, Mio. Did you feel sorry for me when I proposed to you? That you only said yes because you thought that's what a best friend would do? Tell me that you never really…loved me the way I do you. I've told you every day and more how much I love you, Mio, but I guess it was just selfish on my part to push my feelings onto you. But I can't deny how I feel. I will always love you and only you. I know you love me as a friend but that kind of love isn't enough for me anymore. We can't just be friends anymore. I don't want to just be friends."

This was all too much for me. In all the time we had spent together growing up, never had I heard her talk to me like that. So _vulnerable. So direct._ _So mature. _And here I was, speechless for once. She was right in all aspects except for one thing. Yes, I had taken advantage of her love without knowing it. Or rather, I tried to ignore the fact that I did, thinking that we were more close friends, but not quite lovers and she was okay with that. And I knew that she tried her best to not cross the emotional and physical barriers I built up after we were married. And I am grateful for that.

But she was wrong about me not loving her the same way. I was just too afraid to admit to it. Always worrying about what others thought. And time and time again Ritsu showed me that other people didn't matter. What mattered was how I felt.

I shakily made my way up to stand and mustered up as much courage as I could. I walked to her side and grabbed the hem of her shirt. She avoided looking at me and focused on the lights below the window. When she didn't push me away, I let out a faltering breathe of relief. I reached out toward her face and gently made her look at me. Her eyes flickered from the lights and with them the emotions and questions I knew were running through her mind. I wanted to do everything I could right then and there to prove that I loved her and how sorry I was that I was never as honest with her as she had been all this time. But before I could do anything, Ritsu spoke once more.

"I'm tired, Mio. I'm tired of everything. It hurts. I don't know what to do anymore. I just…I love you so much Mio. I don't know what else I can do to prove it to you. I know you're scared and so am I. But if you can't love me the way I thought you did, it'd be better we end this, before you get hurt too."

_Even though it hurts her, she's still putting me first?_

I realized at that moment that I could not run away from my insecurities or my own desires any longer. It was time to be honest with myself and with her, as she had always done. With shaking hands, I tenderly cupped her face in my hands and kissed her as soft as I could. When we parted, I could feel tears falling down my face but made no attempt to wipe them.

"My love has always and will always belong to you. I love you, Ritsu."

I wrapped my arms around her neck and closed my eyes, trying to calm myself as I breathed in her scent. Her arms wrapped around me as I felt my feet leave the floor as she gently laid me down on the bed. When I opened my eyes, I looked into hers as she silently asked me a question I knew she had held off asking since the day we were wed, perhaps even before then. Ritsu looked at me with such love and desire that I found myself crying again. Ritsu laughed softly and tenderly parted the hair on my face before giving me a chaste kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

This is a REVISED EDIT of chp 3. Changed a few things here and there that I wasn't happy with. Chp4 won't upload for some reason and I'm trying to figure out why. Will be posting it asap!

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><p>Broke the M-rated goodness in half. Next chapter will have the scenes I'm sure everyone wants most of…including myself! I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone. I'm doing my best and I want to make this scene memorable for everyone. Check out the Author's Note at the bottom if you want to understand why I had Mio and Ritsu wait so long to have sex despite being married for a year…<p>

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I do not own K-ON! or the song 'Nights in White Satin' by David Lanz.

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"Mio."

I shivered, my body reacting to Ritsu's voice. I looked at her nervously, expectantly, and was surprised when she got up from the bed. Before I could question her, she silenced me with a slow kiss and whispered into my ear.

"There's just something I need to do first."

Puzzled, I sat up in the bed and watched as she approached the sliding doors to the balcony, opening the curtains, and then the sliding doors. The wind blew in gently, making the snow-white curtains throughout the room dance. A full moon was slowly rising into the sky and instead of the cold, lonely feeling it had been sharing with me the past few months, it radiated the warmth and joy Ritsu was emitting and shared with me as she came back to my side. She slowly lowered herself above me and gazed at me with a smile. I could vaguely hear the outside sounds of life below and froze with uneasiness.

"Ritsu…the doors, someone below might…"

She chuckled as she moved a stray hair from my face and pushed it behind my ear.

"Mio, my Mio."

Ignoring what I said, Ritsu gently trailed her fingers over my arms and into my hair, massaging my head slowly as she whispered my name again and again. Her voice and actions soothed me and made me forget my worries for that moment. She pressed her body closer to mine and I felt myself get warmer. As her face neared mine, a sudden breeze ran through the air and made me shiver slightly, reminding me of my earlier concerns.

"Ritsu…" I whispered. "The balcony…why…?"

In that brief moment of my parted lips, she slipped her tongue inside my mouth, catching me by surprise. Instinctively I could feel myself start to push her away but she grasped my wrists and placed them far above my head and continued to silence any protests I had until we both broke apart and gasped for air. I felt so light headed that I nearly forgot my question from earlier. Before I could speak, Ritsu gave me a quick kiss before chuckling.

"You'll find out soon, my love." She wove her fingers through my hair mischievously. "It's one of the reasons why I liked the location of this place. But…"

Ritsu glanced contritely at the chair where her dress shirt was lying and I felt a pang of disappointment in myself for acting the way I did. I shook my head and smiled at her reassuringly; weaving my fingers through her hair let her know that everything was alright. Ritsu leaned down and gave me a kiss on the cheek, grinning.

"I'm not going to freak out about it later, am I?" I asked, sighing.

"Well, you _shouldn't _have that reaction but…"

"Ritsu!"

I made to hit her head but she caught my hand firmly and slowly began to kiss the inside of my other hand, making her way up to my shoulder. I blushed and continued to struggle but after a while I saw that it was pointless to continue so I willed myself to relax and she released my hand.

"Well?" I said.

Ritsu laughed and I could feel myself getting annoyed. She gave me another short kiss before moving onto her side and caressed my cheek.

"It's just something I've always wanted to do with you. Nothing more, nothing less."

"And for how long have you wanted to do…whatever it is?" I asked, my voice trembling slightly. I was conscious of the fact that she hadn't really answered my question but with the way her hand was moving across my face I probably wouldn't care for much longer.

"Since I fell for you."

"But that's not—"

Ritsu took me by surprise again as her lips met mine and we devoured each other with kisses. When we broke for air, she placed a finger upon my lips.

"We'll talk about that later if you still want to. I promise." She said breathlessly. "Now then, no more questions, understood?"

I nodded and watched her apprehensively, wondering what her next move was going to be. She lowered head down and nuzzled my neck before whispering into my left ear.

"Good."

I shivered slightly from her hot breath.

"Hyah!" I gasped out, startled by the feeling that surged through me as she gently bit my ear.

I heard muffled laughter and frowned.

"You always make such cute sounds, you know that, Mio?"

Before I could say something in retort, Ritsu cupped my face in her hands and brushed her thumbs lightly over my cheeks before resting her forehead against mine.

"If I there is something you really don't like or want me to do Mio, just tell me and I'll stop."

I felt an indescribable feeling spread throughout my body that made me want to cry. Even though this was something I knew she had wanted to do for a long time but respected that I wasn't ready for it, she still put my needs ahead of her own. I trembled with an overwhelming surge of love and embarrassment as I kissed her lightly.

"Ritsu…just…love me." I whispered, wrapping my arms around her.

"Mio…" Ritsu said, tears shining in her eyes.

Suddenly Ritsu tightened her hold on me and began kissing me feverishly; on my cheeks, the tip of my nose, and the corner of my eyes before going to my lips. She ran her tongue impatiently over my lips and when I opened them we both fought for dominance in the kiss with our tongues. Eventually we broke for air and I felt as if all my strength had left me. Ritsu seemed calm after this kiss, for she then took her time as she slowly rained feather light kisses down my neck, making her way down my body. She paused for a moment once and gently bit my throat, causing me to jump and tense up slightly. I could feel her sucking and licking the place she bit me and found myself making noises that I didn't know I was capable of making. I began to breathe faster as she continued to kiss her way down to my collarbone.

All at once, she quickly leaned back and took off the shirt she was wearing effortlessly. I felt my heartbeat quicken when I realized that she wore nothing underneath. The room was lit only from the lights of the city and the still rising moon so I could not see much in detail. And yet, just the outline of her torso caused me to flush with warmth. She leaned forward and slowly unbuttoned my top, kissing her way down my chest, whispering my name as each button revealed more of my skin to her. I closed my eyes as each kiss sent me a shock of pleasure and I found myself wanting her to go faster in undressing me. When she reached for the clothing below my waist, she hesitated a moment but when I pressed myself into her hand she resumed and then proceeded to take the rest of her clothes off as well. Soon, all clothing aside from my shirt had been removed from my body. I tried to sit up and shrug off my shirt, but Ritsu immediately pushed me back down. Then she moved to the side slightly, causing the light of the moon to shine down upon my body. I scrambled in embarrassment to pull the sheets to cover me, but I stopped when Ritsu put her hand on my face. The smoldering, yearning look of desire for me in her eyes was captivating and for a moment I saw that familiar mischievous kindness flash in them that caused me to befriend her all those years ago. I knew at this moment that I would always want her to look at me like that, with such warmth, such love, such desire.

"This…" Ritsu said, as she gestured around us. "This is what I've always wanted, Mio." She leaned down and gave me a light kiss.

"To see you as the light of the moon shines down upon your body." Ritsu gently brushed her fingertips from my chin to my navel as she said this.

"Your shining black hair spread around you," Her other hand weaved through my hair.

"Your pure, white skin glowing under the moon," She bent down and placed a kiss on my chest.

"And your beautiful gray eyes looking glossily at me with love and desire…this pure, beautiful scene that only I will ever see…this is what I've always wanted, my Mio."

She looked at me so lovingly, so kindly, before giving me a kiss that transmitted her overwhelming love and desire she felt for me. I nearly wanted to cry from the sudden joy and delight my heart and body felt at her words and actions. I wanted to say something just as wonderful in return.

"Ritsu I…ahhh!"

Ritsu had started massaging my right breast with one hand and had begun licking circles on the other one before I could say anything. The feeling of someone touching me this way was completely new to me. I was frightened at first but eventually I started to feel good from the sensations. Ritsu's tongue would get closer and closer to the center of my breast, but then she would change her mind and go back to massaging and teasing me. My breath was starting to grow haggard and I'm sure if anyone had been listening they probably would have thought I was a crazed beast in heat. I sensed her grin as she continued to avoid the area I wanted to be touched. Before I could think about whether I should voice my complaint or not, my body answered for me and automatically pushed itself up to Ritsu. It seemed Ritsu had been waiting for this moment, and I involuntarily cried out when she started sucking and pulling on my nipples.

I grabbed a hold of her head and made it so she couldn't move away from my breasts and soon she was content on just sucking one nipple and lightly pinching the other with her fingers. I could hear her breathe coming out in slight pants as she switched back and forth between my breasts and continued to ravish me. I was in such a delirious state of pleasure that she managed to break free of my hold and went back to giving me kisses to which I readily returned.

When we came up from a particularly deep kiss, I felt the mood shift. Ritsu leaned back and from the moonlight I could see her eyes shining with a plea. I blinked, trying to catch my breath and ask her what the matter was but she stopped me with another kiss that was slower and gentler than the all the previous ones.

I felt her hand slowly stroke its way down my body, teasing me to the point where I squirmed to have her touch me in the right places. Her hand stopped when it reached my waist and I suddenly was conscious of moistness between my thighs. I knew what it was and felt embarrassed to the point that I was sure Ritsu could feel my temperature rise. I turned my head to the side and closed my eyes, hot tears started to form as I tensed up. When I felt no movement and heard only quiet, controlled breathing, I peeked through one eye and saw Ritsu watching me, love and a twinge of concern in her eyes. I became worried as she gave me a small smile but still made no attempt to move.

"Ritsu…?" I said uncertainly. I sat up and cupped one hand against her cheek, searching her face for anything that could tell me what she was thinking at this moment.

"Mio, I… I said it earlier. If this bothers you or you don't want to continue, I'll stop." Ritsu shook her head and cleared her throat. "But if…if we go any further… I don't know if I'll be able to stop. I don't_ want_ to stop, but I don't want to hurt or force you in anyway just because I can't control myself. I love you and I-"

Something snapped in me and I reversed our roles, with Ritsu laying on the bed and me hovering over her. My actions surprised the both of us and neither of us said anything for a few seconds. My eyes soaked in Ritsu's body which made no move to free itself from my grasp and suddenly desire to dominate her hit me at full force.

"Say it again." I demanded, grabbing her arms and pinning them above her head.

Confusion flickered briefly on Ritsu's face but it was quickly replaced a look of realization and amusement, then tenderness, and so much more.

"I love you, Mio."

The way her voice said that line made me involuntarily release my hold on her and I kissed her.

"Again."

"I love you."

I felt Ritsu slowly lift the both of us into sitting positions and turn my face towards hers. I could feel tears falling down my cheeks.

"Again." I whispered hoarsely, closing my eyes.

"I love you." She said as she gave me another kiss, pulling back only when I started shivering. "Mio?"

The new physical sensations and feelings coursing through me as she showed how much she loved me was almost too overwhelming for me and I didn't know what to do next. To show that I loved her just as much as she did me. Before I could sort my thoughts, I felt her weave her fingers through my hair and we locked eyes. I saw only trust and love in her eyes. I knew what I wanted to do.

"Ritsu." I breathed slowly as I leaned over her, my hair cascading like a curtain and making it so she saw me and only me.

I suddenly felt shy under her inquiring gaze as she waited for my next move. I looked into her eyes and felt a gentle warmth spread throughout my body, warmth I wanted to share with her.

"I love you."

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><p>AN: I had a discussion with a friend of mine about a review this story got about how Mio and Ritsu never had sex during their marriage, saying that it wasn't normal. However, I know various couples who didn't care for sex and only had it to have children. And also some who never have it at all! But they loved each other very much! Granted, this is not the same as what is being presented with my view of Mio and Ritsu's marriage but I believe it is similar in a way. I will attempt to explain the hidden 'back story info' that I imagined when coming up with this story and why it took them this long to finally consummate their love.

Mio, as we know, is canonical shy and gets embarrassed easily Ritsu, though she can be brash, selfish, and impulsive, really does love and care for Mio. They both care for each other. We've seen this in the anime and manga. I believe Ritsu would put her own desires aside because she loves Mio so much that she's happy just to be by her side and wouldn't push her to do something she wasn't ready for or didn't like. The same goes for Mio too. A true couple in love (I believe) would never force one another to do things they didn't want to do or weren't ready for. -However, I'm sure Ritsu wouldn't have said no to doing something more than kissing sooner with Mio! Lol- But I do think that if one is not reassured in some way that they're loved, it can cause doubt/weariness on the soul and that's what happened with Ritsu and Mio with their lack of communication. Both were afraid that the other didn't love them anymore, which wasn't true. Neither stopped loving each other but with the passage of time, they fell into a routine of 'safety' and pretended that everything was alright. Ritsu would tell Mio she loved her but Mio was too embarrassed to say it back (again, Ritsu wouldn't push her to do anything she didn't want to do) but after a while, it made Ritsu uncertain. Thus she immersed herself with her work to avoid thinking about her uncertainties and to keep Mio with what she thought would make her happy/keep her by her side. Yet this made things worse because Mio assumed Ritsu was avoiding her because of how she wasn't very forthcoming with her feelings as Ritsu was toward her (the trampy boss didn't help either lol) and also, Mio's personality was also a factor. It was all simple miscommunication (or lack thereof) and doubt. And that is where this story comes in, portraying all their insecurities and then finally, they make up.

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><p>Sorry if the note was too long. I just wanted to bring this up because it had been bothering me for a while. I do admit that I would be like how I portray Mio in this story. Unless I was ready, I would not have sex even if I was married. It's an important step in ANY relationship if one chooses to do it and should NEVER be taken lightly and both sides should be comfortable with it. Perhaps I could have expressed all this in the story itself but it would have taken too long and I wanted to get to the point, be as it may…I do have an idea though of a 'before' marriage story but until this story is finished, it will stay in the plottingbrainstorming stages. Thank you for the ones who took time to read this. As always, if you have anything you want to discuss, leave a review or pm me!


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